8.30.2011

Summa Cum...1.5 years ago.

I really wanted to impress you with my knowledge of psychological terms.
(That is, after all, my area of study.)
Unfortunately that language is not colloquially used,
(Who knew?)
See the lady?
so I forgot the words.
Also, notice that I still managed to use an uncommon word. Score.

The principle I was looking for was from developmental psychology, when a child is gaining some healthy independence from the parent but continues to maintain visual and auditory lines of communication for security purposes.
Yes, there's one word for all that. Would've been nice.

Grow that toddler up by about 19 years and you've got what I was all summer. Indeed, what I still am and hope to be for ever. I'm not sure that I told you for certain that I was working at Look Up again this summer: I did. I was the first gal to work 4 summers in a number of years. No, I do not know that number.

I was frightened of this summer until it actually began. Frightened because Summer '10 was so powerful and enjoyable and distinct: I would have been satisfied leaving my legacy like that. I was at peace. Frightened because I thought Summer '11 was going to be powerful and miserable and wanting-to-be-forgotten because that's how things work, right? They go in patterns, in cycles and usually the best things that happen to you are the hardest things. Or so I thought.
See the algae?

Paradigm shift within the first week. Yeah, that happened. The powers that be at LUL had a guy come in and teach us some things, and this guy had us ask Father what His name for us was. You know, what He calls us, kind of like a pet name but way more like a True Name between He and us as individuals.
 
He calls me His Intended, His Chosen One. Ideas of being a bride and a messiah flood my mind when He calls for me this way. (No, I'm not claiming to be the second coming. Just coverin' that right now.) 

He says that I am pure and beautiful and seen. That one word: Seen. It holds such power in my heart, probably because I have long struggled with feeling adequate in the visual realm, probably because I don't meet the standards for physical beauty by any comfortable stretch of the imagination. Father sees me, completely SEES me and has chosen me out of not-quite-but-seems-like infinite amount of other people. He has set me aside for some reason, elevated me and prized me, placed on me a crown and rings and a fragrance.
 
See how proud of this photo I am?
To be continued. Whenever I'm not so sleepy and you've not just read half a novel's worth of my writing.

8.27.2011

I found this.

After 4 months of absence from the blogging world, you'd think my first post would be significant, reflective, and insightful.
Instead, here's a list I found on my computer of some of my favorite things (coming soon: a list of my unfavorite things):
  1. chipped fingernail polish
  2. composition notebooks
  3. bare feet
  4. showers
  5. handicap toilet stalls (because the door swings out, not in)
  6. the southern twang
  7. saying movie or any other “mo” word (because evidently I say it oddly)
  8. laughing
  9. stories
  10. rides in any sort of vehicle
  11. birds (including chickens and ducks)
  12. farm animals
  13. history
  14. the number 2
  15. trees
  16. footprints
  17. warm snow days
  18. waking up rested
  19. tan lines
  20. scars
  21. anything that glows in the dark
  22. cereals hot or cold
  23. the idea of theming a camp after a hallucinogen (which I did when I designed my own program)
  24. the french language
  25. big cats
  26. wolves
  27. the bible
  28. music
  29. writing
  30. making posters
  31. my art tub
  32. being and getting messy
  33. eating
  34. reading
  35. sports
  36. card games
  37. building blocks
  38. little kids
  39. big kids
  40. bigger kids (adults)
  41. slides
  42. grey hair
  43. spelling things with the british spelling
  44. pictures
  45. dreadlocks
  46. not matching clothes
  47. meeting people who know people you know
  48. meeting people who know where you live/work
  49. jesus
  50. clocks
  51. keys
  52. bugs
  53. blankets
  54. psychology
  55. anatomy
  56. microscopes
  57. learning
  58. walking
  59. playing
  60. being sore
  61. smelling things
  62. swing sets
  63. trying food you didn’t like before in order to see if you like it now
  64. string jewelry
  65. bread
  66. picture IDs
  67. water guns
  68. geography
  69. road trips
  70. asking why not
  71. filling in gaps
  72. blogs
  73. conversations
  74. tye-dye
  75. free stuff (especially food)
  76. t-shirts
  77. ice cream
  78. milkshakes
  79. gym shorts
  80. jigsaw puzzles
  81. being loud
  82. water
  83. dancing
  84. watching other people be talented
  85. coming up with new ways to say old phrases
  86. surprises
And Dogwood trees and their flowers.