8.25.2010

Elijah

As per the tradition, which I love, on the Last Night of Summer each staffer (and video guy) gives one single word (or more. or wombo.) to each other staffer (and video guy). 

As per the tradition, it was great and filling.

As per the unusual, I switched a couple of my words for the others at the very moment which I wrote them. One of these words was assigned to Jake, my brother in Christ. His word was changed to "Elijah." It was fitting, is fitting (and Spirit-led, as I later found out.) But as I keep seeing my list, and thinking about the words I gave the others, Elijah kept coming up. I realized that I knew very few details of his life, although I could tell you his character(istics) easily. That needed fixing. (As does my knowledge of many Bible things. Isaac is next, I think. I gave that one to Lanier.)

(I like parentheses a lot evidently.)

So. Here's a summary of what I learned:
  • he commanded no dew or rain until he said so
  • God told him to live beside a brook, from which he drank. And ravens brought him bread and meat every morning and evening
  • when the brook dried up, God convinced a poor widow woman with a son to provide for him
    • He did this by multiplying her sparse supply of flour and oil until the rains came
  • he revived her dead son
  • he was a very bold man, in his words to Ahab and Jezebel and to the people at large
    • one that convicted me: 1 Kings 18:21
  • called down fire on Mt. Carmel (duh)
  • he ran faster than Ahab and Jezebel rode in chariots to Jezreel
  • he ran for his life (or literally his 'soul'), away from Jezebel's threat 
    • he wished for death
  • an angel of the Lord came to him twice and gave him food and drink "because the journey is too great" for him.
    • the second dose of this food gave him strength enough for 40 days and nights while he traveled to Horeb, the mountain of God
  • on this mountain, he experienced the Lord passing by
    • I love this passage- 1 Kings 19:11-12
  • Elisha was his servant/disciple/pseudo-descendant
  • Elijah was a true prophet of many things, like the death of Ahab, and remained bold in his speech
  • There are long periods where the Lord did not speak through/to Elijah, but may have used others such as Micaiah
  • he evidently made a habit of sitting on mountaintops in the presence of an angel of the Lord
    • In my head I see this as a reverse Transfiguration kind of thing, see Mark 9
  • he called down fire two more times, on two captains and their groups of fifty men each
  • he parted the waters of the Jordan with his mantle so that he and Elisha could walk across on dry ground
  • a chariot of fire and horses of fire went between he and Elisha, then he was caught up by a whirlwind to heaven
    • he WAS NOT taken up by the horses and chariot, just separated from Elisha. the whirlwind took him up
  • Elisha received a double portion of the Spirit that Elijah had. Elisha's life is interesting too.
The end.
Here are some pictures that I took that I like. Because photos are always a nice addition:

 

8.23.2010

Numbered.

My days are numbered small in this place.
Also, today was Day 10.
Of what?
You tell me:

Day 10 of non-camp life? Yes.
Day 10 of unwashed hair? Yes.
Day 10 of missing my dearest Look Up friends? Yes.
Day 10 of these New Shoes? Yes.

8.19.2010

New Shoes

I don't have new shoes.
I just lied to you.
But I am getting my Chacos fixed! No more peering between the footbed and sole!
I am walking in New Shoes though. Soon. Or now. I haven't really decided if I have Them on yet.

These Shoes are scarier, older, on-my-own-er, exciting-er, knowing-er, building-er, and pretty brand spanking new on these feet of mine. Over the past few weeks They have caused blisters, eruptions, and callouses; They have also felt more supportive and have that in-the-long-term healthy feel.

They are my Next Step Shoes. Or my New Life Shoes. I haven't decided that yet either. 

They started slipping on about three weeks ago, when I had a conversation with my beloved brother Jamal about what being Christ-like looks like in a particular situation. A situation about which I had already broken down sobbing (yes. sobbing.) and through which the both of us went. I felt Unheard. Uncared For. Untrusted. Unrespected. Unknown. Unloved. Un-a-whole-lot-of-things that I felt entitled to. But Un-a-whole-lot-of-things that Jesus was entitled to much more than I and yet suffered through for longer, more intensely, and more unjustly than I. 
Hebrews 12:3 "Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

As an unfortunate example of this situation, please view the beginning of this interview of the Pink Team. Oh, bad timing. I wish I could have seen my face when Kevin said, "So this is your 2nd year, right?" Ooooh, buddy. I wish you could have seen Ryan's face. He knew I was about to either go off or start bawling, or both. And I could have, so easily I could have. Goodness, I miss my adopted-in brother.
 
They slipped on significantly more as the end of the summer loomed. And then: Lies. A bunch of lies swarmed (and still do) my mind and heart. Lies such as: 

"You WILL be alone. Emotionally and Spiritually alone, if not physically alone." 
"You are not strong enough for this." 
"God isn't going to take care of you."
"No one wants you."
"You will never make any progress or make a difference to anyone outside your little bubble." 

I believe(d) those lies too often and too much. Any often and any much is too often and too much. 
So I sobbed. A lot. And usually Jamal was there. But it had been too long and I have been too hard. 
And I was (am) just scared. Terrified.
Dang that Fear
Maybe it needs to be pushed through, not once-for-all conquered. 
No, it should be conquered. 
For me, right now, it will be pushed through. 

Oh, And. I got the job! 

8.16.2010

What now?

Today was the first day that I was truly on my own on camp. No summer staffers left.
I have never had such an odd feeling. 
Of being alone but not really, of being a stranger but not really.
This will be my third night alone in Redwood. And yes, I lock myself in. Quickly.

Today I have not had a full verbal conversation with another human being since around 9:30 this morning when I came to the Lodge to see if I could stay one more night in Redwood. Other interactions have been:
"Yes, I'll be there at 8:30am for the interview."
"Can I have...?"
"Thank you."
And that's about it. 
What a drastic shift from camp! My mind alternates from a mile a minute to absolute blank. I feel like I haven't had a conversation in weeks. It doesn't feel good, but I have yet to decide if it is good. 

So, the interview. Listen to how God provided for me and glorified His Name:
Friday afternoon, I take Walter Howard's advice and just show up at Wilderness Way in Fair Play, SC. The director there sits down with me, briefly looks over my application while asking me some questions about myself. After about 15 minutes or so, he says that if they had a job opening he would without a doubt offer it to me. IF. But the job, every job was filled. My contact person there had not told me. The director said that he truly wished he had a job for me, because he wanted me to work there. He seemed sincere.
He was sincere. How do I know? He called around to four or five other places on my behalf, trying to find a job for me! He found one at the Tamassee Daughters of the American Revolution School. He must have given them a fantastic review of me, because they wanted me to come over immediately to fill out an application. So I did. 
Listen to how God glorifies His Name:
After scanning over my application, the lady at DAR tells me that I would be great at this job, but she just wanted me to feel like I would be great at it. By this she means that I am coming in for a full interview so that I can learn more about their program-n-such. After this conversation, the CEO walks in and says to the lady that he's got a really good feeling about me already. That interview is at 8:30am tomorrow, which means leaving Look Up no later than 7:30am to get there. It's a beautiful drive.
It's a beautiful life.
It's a beautiful story.
He's a beautiful God.

I have so much to tell everyone about this summer. Oh. His. Goodness.