Vanity

I don't like actually like running all that much. I get bored with it. 


I try to challenge myself with speed, distance, terrain. 


Then I ask myself, why?


And answer, to be healthier. To be able to run and play and laugh and compete all at once and better than I can now. 


The answer has only the most minor effect on my mindset.


Add to this the chorus of friends I haven't seen since I've started running consistently, each verse sounding something like, "Wow! How much weight have you lost?" "You look great!" "You're so small!" and my mind wants to stop my body from ever running again ever.


Counterintuitive? Yes. I was happy with my body before. I'm happy with it now. I don't want anyone, ANYONE to think I run for weight loss or muscle tone, because I truthfully don't. I run for cardiovascular and respiratory health.


I know my body will fail in looks before it fails in ability. I'm trying to prolong the abilities I have, not the looks. 


I also know it's an uncommon thing to be concerned with this. Yet here am I, concerned with it. I haven't been on a run in almost two weeks. 


Tomorrow morning, I hope to conquer my concern. I hope my friends believe my reasons.