bEinG CHildLiKe Isn'T eaSy.

Kids don't always have fun.
Sometimes they get scared easier than other kids.
Sometimes adults don't understand them and they don't understand adults.
Sometimes they just want to be held.
Sometimes they just want to run over an open field or along a trail until they get so tired they just collapse.
Sometimes they get sad because, well, things are hard and they can't do it yet.

Kids have it better than adults.
Sometimes they can dream better, and bigger, and remember their dreams even after someone tries to wake them up.
Sometimes they can hope beyond possibility because they don't know the "limits of reality" like adults do.
Sometimes they can just be silly because it's fun.
Sometimes they like to talk a lot, to listen to stories and tell stories. Even if the stories don't exist in the eyes of adults.

I just cried again. I'm a big baby. I know it. I'm only kind of okay with it. (and making fun of me might honestly make me cry again)

I watched Where The Wild Things Are a few minutes ago. The movie itself I didn't fully understand, but I put myself into Max and Carroll and the goat character, and KW. Like them (as you all fully know) I just want things to be happy like they are supposed to be. So much of the movie was about being misunderstood and searching for acceptance and love. One of the last scenes is Max leaving the Wild Things on their island, leaving them to remember their experience and try to get along on their own again. Kind of a Jesus-Ascension story, minus the Holy Spirit coming later. The Wild Things are howling sorrowfully and Max is headed home. One of the Wild Things, one who didn't say anything the whole film, asks Max to say good things of them when he gets home. 

That doesn't really explain why I would cry. I put on some music right after the movie ended. First Song: The Scientist by Coldplay. Normally I love anything Coldplay. This was unfortunate though, since the lyrics say:
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
They just kind of fit right into my thoughts. That still doesn't explain why I would cry.

I cried because I'm childlike, a kid in my heart and hopes and dreams. Tonight I'm that kid who doesn't always have fun, because I am also that kid who has it better than adults. 

I'm ready for our Jesus to come back. I'm ready to be a full-fledged kid again. 

'Scuse me. I need my Jesus.

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