Ninth.

I saw the most beautiful thing today.

I wish I had my camera with me at the time so I could show you. But I'll tell you as best I can.

I worked at One Body In Christ Horse Ministries today, like I do every Saturday. Today, though, was different. Today was the annual Fall Festival. Yard sale, petting zoo, grillin' and chillin' in the riding ring with turkeys, miniature horses, goats, rabbits, a lamb, and a VERY pregnant donkey. Corral rides on the big horses for the short people, and trail rides on the big horses for the tall people. Kids were chasing, catching, and petting the turkeys and wishing the mini horses weren't feeling grumpy and lazy today. It was sunny, breezy, and only a few wispy cirrus clouds in the sky. Families were coming and going here and there. I was able to hang out with and talk to people I didn't know, people I do know, and people I now know. Perfection. LIFE.

As glorious and reflective of Christ as this was, it is not what I wanted to tell you. My beautiful sight was of an elderly woman. She walked using a walker. She breathed with a nebulizer at her side. She was wrinkled. She was white-haired. She was weathered. She was beautiful.

She had her daughter carry a folding chair into the riding ring for her. She sat in it for a while, but soon got on her knees on the dusty ground with her face in the seat of the chair. I wasn't sure what she was doing until I walked by her. This lady was praying fervently and nearly silently for the success of OBIC's ministry and for the souls of people. She had her eyes closed and her brow was more wrinkled than usual with intensity and earnestness. 

This was that beautiful scene I wish I could have taken a picture of. 
But then...her daughter came over and told her that it was not good for her knees or her lungs to be on the ground. She told her that people were looking at her. She made her mother get back up into the chair, but soon enough, she was right back down. This happened a few times before I was transferred to the corral rides. 

Maybe sometimes what is "good" for us is not what we need, not what is "best" for us. 
Maybe sometimes propriety should take a backseat to authenticity.
Maybe sometimes I wish I understood how to more thoroughly apply this to my own life. 

I hope to be as fervent in my faith as this beautiful daughter of the Beautiful Father was.

Eighth.

I drank my first full cup of actual, not mocha or latte, coffee about 2 hours ago. It was semi-enjoyable. I pansied it up first with creamer and sugar.


Now I'm wide awake, but I can feel the fakeness of it. And the crash is looming ahead of me.

Sometimes I think that my bunk bed is kinda like those Blob things they have at some camps. You know the things that you put one person on the far end, just sitting there. Then someone else (preferably a large someone else) jumps on the opposite end catapulting the other. My bed is like that. That 'someone else' is my alarm. I'm sleeping comfortably...then all of a sudden I'm thrown into a panic by a loud BEEHHHHH sound that scares me half to death every time. And daggum that water's cold. 

Listen to how God blessed me this weekend/for the rest of the year: I'm not volunteering at the girls' home like I did last year because there was only one of the seven-ish girls there that I bonded with. I didn't feel like God was calling me back there, so I now work at this outdoor, horse farm, ministry place. It's really cool. I get to be outside, be with animals and kids all at once. And guess who also volunteers there every other Saturday with her mom? Yeah, sure as anything, it's that one girl, Payton is her name. I was blown away. 

I love how powerful and just great my God is. 

Seventh.

I like when the things I learn in class apply to real life.
Psychological Principle: Visual recognition depends on stored knowledge.

Yesterday as I was leaving Demoss (an academic building/home of the library at LU) I passed a guy who was really frightened of something. I asked him if he was okay...his response was to point at the ground and say, "Is that a grasshopper?" 
It was NOT a grasshopper. It was indeed...a praying mantis. It was about 5 inches long and walking. 
I almost laughed at him. He asked if they jump, fly, or bite. I answered his questions. He asked what a grasshopper was, if that wasn't one. I explained as best I could. (how do you explain a grasshopper?)

I could not imagine someone not knowing what a grasshopper was. Really? You mistake a praying mantis for a grasshopper? I guess he hadn't seen either one of those before. That's sad. 

But what was encouraging is the fact that he was presented with the choice of destroying the unknown scary creature or gaining knowledge about it, and he chose to let it live and explore it. 

Good for you, brother. I'm proud of you. 

Sixth.

Well, hello. 

This situation reminds me of those phone calls you get and give to friends you used to talk to all the time, got separated, then decided you should probably check and catch up with. It's awkward. It's not that you don't have anything to say. It's quite the opposite. You have so much to say, and so much has happened that you just don't know where to start. My problem is deciding what's important to tell. I know what mattered to me, but what does this person have time to hear and interest in hearing? It's unfortunate, this thing called time. 

So, now that we've established the awkward factor, we can move on. I'll tell you as much as my computer's battery allows me to. (There's something flying in my dorm room. I have no idea what it is. It might be my hope. No, it's a gnat. I should probably get that fruit out of here...)

I worked at Look Up again this summer (ALOHA!!!!) and it was fantastic and freakishly hard this year. I was surrounded by superb people and a constant nagging that I am the most arrogant, selfish, conceited, and cruel person on the face of the earth. God, man, He to' me up this summer. Or rather, burned me down like the gates of Jerusalem. He flipped some switches, put light into some corners, and reminded me of some stuff I put under that rug (I still don't know if it's Persian, so don't ask). He conveyed His immense love to me through those around me, and through one song in particular...John Mark McMillan's "How He Loves". Look it up. It'll be worth your while. Gosh I love that song.

My Father also reoriented my hope center. It's now in the restoration, the completion of our salvation and the redemption of all Creation. He has given me a book to read, Shane Claiborne's "The Irresistible Revolution" which has given me hope for living like the Kingdom's already here and doing what the Church is supposed to do. Man, I am so ready for that. (Lauren Brewer, we will do this.) 

I am struggling, though, with waiting for my Father to move in certain areas that He's shown me He will move in, and wishing that every follower of the Way would actually follow the Way. We had a discussion in a class today about how many pairs of shoes we have (don't ask me why. I already need to have a talk about wise use of time with that professor). Most of the girls had more than 10 pairs of shoes. Do you need that many? No. No you don't. There are people in the Lynchburg community who can't afford one pair. You have 30. They have none. It was funny (and frustrating) to hear the shame in their voices and the excuses they used to validate their indulgence.

They know they are being wasteful. They know it's entirely silly to have that many shoes. But, we're in America. And that's what we do. We acknowledge how insanely overkill our expenditures are and do nothing to correct them. That's why poverty still exists. The Church isn't doing Its job. And I see it everyday in the superfluous entities that are Liberty University and Thomas Road Baptist Church.

Also, I broke up with the world. It's Facebook official. 

My battery's dying (in more than one context)...

Fifth

The lack of text colour options makes me sad, and indecisive.
I have no idea why I started to write this post to be honest with you. I know that I have 5, maybe 6, exams within the next 4 days. I know that I have a Psychological Evaluation to write up before Monday. I know that I might have caused myself to have to repeat a class. I know that one of my roommates just walked in the room. The first thing she says: "I had a caterpillar. His name was Julio." Evidently she found him on her way back from her fiance's dorm, and now he's on a tree next to our dorm (quite the migration for a caterpillar, mind you.)

I know that I overdrew my checking account by about $200 dollars. Choo no wat? Gas be 'spensive, yo! I didn't realize to what extent until I counted up how much I had traveled in the last month or so, and paying for all the gas on my own: 2 trips to Look Up, 1 trip to the Busch in Williamsburg, 1 trip home, and 1 trip to Washington, DC. Shoot man, I lived in my car every weekend.

I know that I have 2 weeks until I move into the Cliffs at Look Up for the summer!!! I can't believe God has blessed me with the opportunity to work with amazing staffers and kids/teens again this summer. I really, really don't deserve one bit of the chance to do this or the praise for whatever comes from it. That's all to God, and for God. He's just granted me the ability to do it. Oh man, I can't wait! ANDuhh...My summer roommate is Sydney Brown, who is super great. I love her, and I've met her once.

And now, back to studying, because I do have 2 or 3 exams on Monday and 3 more on Wednesday...and I'm watching Hitch tonight no matter what.

Fourth.

You've fasted now for about 2 days. My congratulations, although a select few of you cheated I know. I do after all, have friends. With whom I conversate. About life, sometimes.

It's way early in the morning/late at night. Me and my roommate Katie are passing a book back and forth, reading the same sections, one right after the other. Why are we doing this? Because we're cats who are slowly edging towards the last of our, well..my, 6th life. And all because of a book by Kevin Roose called "The Unlikely Disciple." So far, so good. Really good. It's about this guy, if you don't already know, who came to Liberty from Brown University as a sort of spy. He pretended to be an evangelical Christian to fit in as best he could, and wrote a book about his experiences at Liberty, a school that he thought was Jerry Falwell's version of a terrorist training camp. I recommend it. Up to this point at least, but I've heard good things about the rest as well.

I love Liberty. As much as I complain about it, it does have a way of endearing itself to me, with its quirks (to which I relate), with its oddities (the same), with its sense of unity and community (which I cherish), and with its reputation (the good parts I'll keep, the bad I'll try to disprove).

I'm starting to think that maybe God put me here for other people. Being at Liberty has taught me some things, none that I can really put my finger on right now (granted it is 2am) but I have been told by several people that I have had some sort of effect on their lives. That is both extremely encouraging and frightening to me. How great is my Creator that He can still use this mussed up whatever I am to affect my brothers and sisters, and future siblings, in a powerful way? I can't comprehend it. [Jon Styer, if you read this you should know that I held off some sarcasm right here. You're welcome. And no worries, it wasn't aimed at you.]

And once again, I must leave you to yourselves. It's my turn to read.

Third.

This week has been crazy. Creation Studies exam today. Philosophy (from now on to be known as Philawful, not because it's hard but because in most cases it's impractical) exam today. Presentation on Sexual Disorders and Dysfunctions in Abnormal Psychology today (which was really loads of fun, not kidding. A guy in my group...let's just say he accurately portrayed a person with a transvestic fetishism). Psychological Assessment and Measurement exam tomorrow. And the retardo class tomorrow morning. Love the material, the prof should go back to being a 3rd grade teacher fo' sho'.
-I like the autosave feature. It's neat.-
Stephen Baldwin was less than 500 feet from me. Mike Huckabee too. At the same time. Ron friggin' Luce spoke in convo this morning. (Please feel free to interpret that "friggin'" however you like.) Tonight at campus church a metal band played that I've never heard of (Dogs Of Pray?).
Liberty University is so unique.
Coffeehouse was Friday, and AMAZING. So funny, so talented. Look up some videos on Youtube. And go to www.justinkintzelproductions.com and hilarity will ensue if you watch the LUPD (Liberty University Police Department) videos and the Good, Bad, and The Ugly bloopers. I definitely have a new LU celeb crush: oh yes, Justin Kintzel. And no, Katie, he is not short. He's an inch or two taller than me, which is fine because I pretty much never wear shoes, much less high heels.
The celeb/stranger crush is my favorite. You know, sometimes you just have these people in mind and you think, "Hey, they seem cool." And you've heard them speak and seen them around and heard things about them. It's not a serious crush or interest, just an admiration I guess. But this could just be me. Be honest though. It's not just me, especially not at Liberty.
I've told you almost nothing of substance, which just means I'll be back soon because I can't let you starve. Just fast for a while. I should do something with my life, sorry. Take this opportunity to realize just how good a steak would be right now...